A private check

A private check for you

Domestic and family violence, including coercive control. About five minutes. Nothing you answer is saved, sent or stored.

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01

Right now

I am safe where I am at the moment.
I would be worried about what happens if someone knew I was reading this.
I have somewhere I could go tonight if I needed to.
02

Fear and control

I am careful about what I say or do to avoid someone’s anger.
I feel watched: my phone, messages, car, social media or spending is checked.
I have to account for my time, my money or who I see.
I have been called crazy, a bad mother, or told no one would believe me.
03

Control over everyday life

Someone controls the money: an allowance, my income or payments, or debts in my name.
Seeing friends or family is criticised or made difficult.
My work, study or my own health care is blocked or sabotaged.
My sleep, food, medication or ID documents are controlled.
My religious or cultural community is used to keep me in line.
04

Threats and violence

Threats to hurt me, the children, a pet, or someone I love.
Threats to share photos or messages, or to report me to police, child protection or immigration.
Property has been damaged, or a weapon used to frighten me.
There has been sexual pressure or coercion, including pressure about contraception.
My neck has been grabbed or pressed.
Someone has threatened to kill me.
I have been followed, or tracked with a device or an app.
I have been hurt while pregnant.
05

Children

I am worried about the children’s safety, or about what they are seeing.
The children are being used to control me.
06

Your health

Sleep, pain, anxiety or low mood that has come on or got worse.
Injuries I have not explained to anyone.
Drinking or using something to get through the day.

If you answered yes or sometimes to anything above, that is enough reason to talk to someone. This page is not a test and it is not a diagnosis. There is no score that decides whether what is happening to you counts.

Where to get help

All of these are free and confidential.

You do not have to leave to get help. Nothing here is your fault.

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